When a Bad Bug Hits a Child

Been here in a hospital for the past couple of days now to care for my sick kid.  Apparently, he caught a bug which felled him down pretty badly that the doctors could not determine what was the bug that bit him.  He was tested for dengue, typhoid, pneumonia... all negative  -  and much to my joy!  But it has been one roller coaster of a week for hubby and I, in which my kid's yaya showed tremendous support and courage.

For the past 5 days, I have been at my kid's beck and call, save for the time that I had to go to the office and get a few tawa-tawa plant from our office parking lot.  For foreigners are Filipinos not familiar with this lowly plant, this grass is what I simply call dahong ligaw because it practically grows anywhere.  It's a kind of weed you'd want to pluck from your garden because it grows fast and a lot.  This weed happens to be a lifesaver at a time when we were fearing that my kid had dengue.

So, I googled how to prepare the tea for my son.  I have read a lot of testimonies about it.  And hey, if it was safe for them, it will definitely be safe for my boy, right?  I've got nothing to lose.  I let my kid's Ate Jenny brew the whole plant including the roots after thorough cleaning.  Somehow, this has boosted my son's platelet when it was dropping very low.  But more than that, I attribute my son's recovery to a miracle I will talk about some other time.  I truly believe it's healing properties, and this has been attested by a lot of dengue patients already.  Of course, my son was never positive for dengue but the fact that the tawa-tawa greatly improved my son's platelet is sufficient for me to that this plant is truly recommendable.

Too bad, the medical profession will never say anything positive about it, until it gets "discovered" abroad like the equally effective coconut oil.

When will the government ever learn to support valuable finds like these?

Nanny Alert on Bel-Aire Village

Hubby was infuriated to see one day a nanny giving a warning to her ward by waving a broomstick at his face.  The little kid, about 2 years old or so, appeared so scared that he ran back inside the house.

Hubby's office is along Jupiter Street in Makati City, and the behind the building where his office is situated is the posh Bel-Aire Village.  When all the bosses are out for work, a group of yayas (or maids) converge in this house behind Montivar Building and play all sorts of card games (hubby says it's tong-its) all afternoon.  Nevermind the all-afternoon play, it's the KID we're more concerned of.  We do hope that this maid is not the only person inside the house, and that the kid is well taken cared of even as they play.

But it really makes you think:  What if the kid is by his lonesome self while the yaya just keeps on playing?  Why do you need a broomstick to warn a kid anyway?  If that happened to your child, what would YOU do?

Hubby says that this has been going almost everyday when he peers through his window.  Not wanting to be too snoopy with other people's business, he accidentally saw it as he was checking the rains one day.

I hope this yaya will finally be caught somehow....

When Yaya Needs A Vacation

Let's face, everybody needs a break.  We need a break from work, a break from prying eyes, a time-off from all that stress. Why do you think wellness is such a hit nowadays? It's because of modern man's need to get away from all that stress.  It simply affects everybody, without exception.

So, even if your yaya doesn't do a lot of work at home except caring for your kid, she still needs a vacation.  In all honesty, she DESERVES it.  Really.  And it's never easy to take care of a kid, and if your yaya also happens to run the household when you are away, then the work doubles.  

The reasons why employers do not normally let nannies go on vacation are various.  Some rely on the maid or yaya to manage the household, so when they leave CHAOS is the next word that comes to mind.  But most of us (Filipinos like me, most especially!) think that the real reason why a nanny wants to go on a vacation is because she has found another employment opportunity elsewhere and is leaving you FOR GOOD.  Actually, most helpers really do this and use the explanation that they are needed back home, a family member is sick that somebody has to take care of him/her, or their house has been destroyed by some natural calamity.  While the real crafty ones ask for a salary advance, the truthful ones never ask for any money except the last paycheck they get from their employers.  And then they leave for good  -  never to return.

But regardless of what other helpers do, your yaya needs a break.  You cannot take that away from her.  Of course, there is always the fear that she will not come back, but if she is treated fairly and like family, what is there to lose?  You always hope that she comes back and remember the goodness you've done to her.  Little acts of kindness really go a long way, and more so with helpers who depend their salary on you. 

My kid's yaya will be going on a vacation in a few weeks time and will be gone for more than a week.  I had to bargain with her a lot on the period that she will get her break, but we've managed somehow to agree on when to schedule her vacation.  And she has chosen it during Octobers and the summer season.  I let her go.  Do I feel worried?  Of course I do!  With a responsible and sweet yaya like her, she will easily find a job at no time at all.  But I have to trust her that she will come back.  In the meantime, we are revving (PSYCHING) ourselves that the next few weeks will be crazy without her in the household.  We'll be doing the laundry ourselves, cooking, shuttling our kid back and forth to school and to my in-laws, and more.  It's tiring, it's hectic, it's crazy!

I'd like to think we've been very fair and reasonable with her.  We treat her practically like family!  She has refused us to send her to school, but we are still hoping she'll take the bite.  But more than that, we hope, like anybody else, that she will realize she is a big part of our family just as we hope to be in hers.

When to Drop a Nanny

Eversince having our own home, my husband and I depended  mainly on nannies to maintain the household and watch our kid.  And we've had a lot of them over a span of 6 years, some very good and the rest really cooky.  I've cried over one once  -  the first yaya my son ever had.  She was very good in taking care of our boy and very efficient in running the household when we were away.  Alas, she learned how to use a cell phone, met a text pal, and the next thing we knew, she eloped!  To this day, I cannot say a bad thing about this lady.  Our doors will always be open for her.

But we've had horror stories as well, like the one I mentioned the last time.  But since we were reasonable and patient individuals, we gave enough time and patience to train and reach out to each one.  I had to learn their talks and ticks over and over again.  I had to know showbiz chismis as well as Tagalog movies.  I REACHED OUT.  I sucked in both areas, but at least I knew their world and can relate to them with ease. 

But what if your yaya really shows no promise at all?  When do you give up?  Over the years, these are the signs that I've learned to read:

1.  When she keeps on doing irritating things, whether it's intentional or not.  Yaya keeps breaking the dishes, puts a whole in your office uniform, doesn't clean the toilet.  Either she's doing it to irritate you or she wants to do something else.

2.  You see tell-tale signs of corporal punishments done on your kid.  My mother-in-law always tell me that you can always tell if your kid has been in some kid of punishment with your yaya when he/she is aloof with the nanny, looks fidgety around her or when she is mentioned, changes in behavior and appetite, cries or gets sick.  My son used to cry in his dreams, which my mother-in-law said was a sign of distress.  And you know what?  More often than not she was right!

3.  When your feedbacks/suggestions/pleas keep falling on deaf ears.  You ask her to do something, she "forgets" it.  You tell how to prepare something, she doesn't do it.  Selective amnesia or mere stubborness?  You can be patient as I was, but if it's chronic, why add more burden to your life?  Better nip it in the bud.

4.  When you hear a lot of negative feedbacks about your yaya.  My neighbor would tell me how the house sounded like there was a party everyday.  It so happened that the nanny, when my kid was away in school, would bring over her friends inside the house.  They would blast the stereo hard.  What's worse, everyone in the village knew what this yaya was working with US.  She practically knew the whole village!

5.  Bottomline line is TRUST.  If you lost trust in your yaya, you don't have to feel helpless about it.  Without trust, there is nothing to build on.  It's a lost case.  Get on with it and move on.

It's hard to look for a good yaya, but it's better to remain positive that there's somebody out there who will be a better nanny in the household and to your kid.  And that's worth taking the chance anytime.