Eversince having our own home, my husband and I depended mainly on nannies to maintain the household and watch our kid. And we've had a lot of them over a span of 6 years, some very good and the rest really cooky. I've cried over one once - the first yaya my son ever had. She was very good in taking care of our boy and very efficient in running the household when we were away. Alas, she learned how to use a cell phone, met a text pal, and the next thing we knew, she eloped! To this day, I cannot say a bad thing about this lady. Our doors will always be open for her.
But we've had horror stories as well, like the one I mentioned the last time. But since we were reasonable and patient individuals, we gave enough time and patience to train and reach out to each one. I had to learn their talks and ticks over and over again. I had to know showbiz chismis as well as Tagalog movies. I REACHED OUT. I sucked in both areas, but at least I knew their world and can relate to them with ease.
But what if your yaya really shows no promise at all? When do you give up? Over the years, these are the signs that I've learned to read:
1. When she keeps on doing irritating things, whether it's intentional or not. Yaya keeps breaking the dishes, puts a whole in your office uniform, doesn't clean the toilet. Either she's doing it to irritate you or she wants to do something else.
2. You see tell-tale signs of corporal punishments done on your kid. My mother-in-law always tell me that you can always tell if your kid has been in some kid of punishment with your yaya when he/she is aloof with the nanny, looks fidgety around her or when she is mentioned, changes in behavior and appetite, cries or gets sick. My son used to cry in his dreams, which my mother-in-law said was a sign of distress. And you know what? More often than not she was right!
3. When your feedbacks/suggestions/pleas keep falling on deaf ears. You ask her to do something, she "forgets" it. You tell how to prepare something, she doesn't do it. Selective amnesia or mere stubborness? You can be patient as I was, but if it's chronic, why add more burden to your life? Better nip it in the bud.
4. When you hear a lot of negative feedbacks about your yaya. My neighbor would tell me how the house sounded like there was a party everyday. It so happened that the nanny, when my kid was away in school, would bring over her friends inside the house. They would blast the stereo hard. What's worse, everyone in the village knew what this yaya was working with US. She practically knew the whole village!
5. Bottomline line is TRUST. If you lost trust in your yaya, you don't have to feel helpless about it. Without trust, there is nothing to build on. It's a lost case. Get on with it and move on.
It's hard to look for a good yaya, but it's better to remain positive that there's somebody out there who will be a better nanny in the household and to your kid. And that's worth taking the chance anytime.
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