As in any relationship, trust is a very important ingredient. And more so with househelpers. They who clean the household spic and span and know every nook and cranny of the house, they are capable of knowing where your stuffs are that we do. And to me, trust is essential.
A colleague of mine once recounted her experience with a househelp who seemed adept to put things in order and knew where everything was kept. This househelp was "bibo" enough to make it her business to know everything about the house, including where the valuables were stashed. My colleague was glad to have had a housekeeper like her, until one day when the househelp wiped the house dry. Even worse, she did it in broad daylight, when her children were at home! Fortunately, the children were at their respective rooms when the heist was done. The perpetrators (the househelp had 2 guys with him) carried the tv, stereo, cash, jewelry, and 2 service firearms. Luckily, the children were left untouched. The children only found out about the robbery when they already woke up from an afternoon siesta. The door was left open and the maid gone. The village guards said they did not notice anything different to rouse suspicion of a robbery. It probably may have looked like this, the link of which I am attaching:
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| Caught in the act! |
http://jotan23.blogspot.com/2010/04/maid-caught-in-act-of-stealing.html
I've had an experience with a yaya like this, and it's really heartbreaking to dismiss her when she was doing so well with my kid. Not really very good, but more like good-GOOD. It started with a few small items, a missing pair of earrings, small amount of cash here and there. Things were starting to get serious when my son lost a big toy and a big box of perfume that my husband needed for testing. That's when I started to get suspicious.
And when I was cleaning her room one day (sadly, this yaya never cleaned her room so I would clean it with disinfectant on her day-offs), I found my pendant on her dresser. I confronted her about it, but she explained that my son tinkered with my stuffs. WHY ON EARTH WOULD MY SON PLAY WITH MY JEWELRY, of all things??? We let her go the next day.
What was disheartening to realize was that she had broken our trust. I didn't know how much she took and I don't want to know it now. It got me thinking: was she really like that or was she just tempted to steal, knowing that we gave her so much confidence? My husband and I would place our wallets in the living room when we're home. Because of her, it's SOP for me now to stash everything in a safe, especially jewelry.
What did I learn from all of this? To be careful all the time. Your househelp may be performing well with household chores but is really hiding her real motive to steal. Do not give any reason that will tempt her to steal, and that means locking away your valuables and keeping it there. Provide limits to her authority. I lock the master bedroom when we're away. I do not let the housekeeper be familiar with my things. I clean my own room. If you can afford it, have hidden cameras inside the house to keep track of her daily activities. It's invasive I know, but for working couples like me, sometimes the best defense is a good offense.
Tell you more next time.
Let me tell you about a story of a maid of mine who worked for us for almost a year.
When we booted out a former househelp, we needed to get a new one right away just to keep watch over my son. With the kindness of a neighbor, we met Geleen (not her real name) who was a niece of that neighbor.
Now, we knew even before taking her that she needed special handling, not because she wasn't capable of looking after my boy but because she had a wild streak. But as her aunt told us, she was young, naive and without proper guidance. Geleen had to quit school after she got involved in a fraternity and her grades slipped. Honestly, she didn't look too keen on studying anyway, possibly because of the gang she was involved in. She was a troubled soul who sorely needed her mother, who left her with an aunt to live with a new man in her life. Regardless of all these, we took her in, knowing she had warts and all. I, as homemaker, constantly talked to her. I shared to her things about myself, hoping that she would share hers.
She had none of that, and we accepted that fact after months of trying. But we did our best to make her at home with the family, include her in family gatherings, trips. My son seemed to be ok with her, and that was all that mattered. She was a kid herself. She was always silent, no reaction or emotion at all.
There were good times and bad times. What I did not like about this girl was that she would go out of the house at night after we arrived home from the office to meet her gang. I would end up looking for her at the village streets, drinking and talking with friends. She was a minor and my employee, so I am naturally responsible for her. It was frustrating, and I tried to explain to her why she had to cut down her meeting with friends. In the end, I felt like she never heard anything I said at all. And she never talked about what her problems were, why she was like that.
In the end, we let her go after learning from my son's school that they saw my son being left to the company of two guys whom we did not know or were not familiar with. In my panic, I immediately called Geleen, who was not answering her mobile or the telephone. I later learned that Geleen went out of the house and left my kid to the company of strangers. Thank God, they were kind enough to my son. Nevermind the house, just my son.... Although they seem to be innocent, still the house policy of not letting in any strangers was violated. My anger and disgust finally got the better of me, and I asked her to leave that very instant I arrived home.
Was I guilty that I was booting out a young girl from my house at night? Not really, her aunt (which had long since transferred to another area) had plenty of friends in the village that she could stay with momentarily. We learned a few days later that she slept at a friend's house rather than staying with her aunt's friend.
Just recently, we learned that Geleen worked in night club and met an older guy who made sense out of her. We're quite happy that she's finally settled, because if she doesn't now, she'll end up just like her mother. We hope the guy she's living with will be a patient man that will reach through her, something we were hoping to do.
Do we still do this to our house helpers? Of course we do. Just because Geleen required special handling doesn't mean that the others won't. It's been always like this in the household. Our maids are very open and comfortable with us without going overboard. And I hope it stays that way.
