Understanding the Kasambahay Bill

With the recent news on the abuses inflicted on house maid Bonita Baran, the Congress' Kasambahay Bill, when passed, will be an answered prayer to helpers everywhere in the Philippines, especially those who have been subject to abuse and maltreatment by their employers.  Deemed as the "Magna Carta for the Kasambahay", the bill seeks to protect the rights of helpers by improving their benefits and compensation and providing a grievance procedure for the protection of their rights.

Coverage

Authored by Congressman Diosdado Macapagal Arroyo and former president-turned Congresswoman Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, the bill includes helpers who render household and domestic services to a homeowner or employer on a full-time basis for compensation, either on a live in or stay out arrangement.   The term "kasambahay" extends to cooks, houseboys, and family drivers who render domestic services to a family or homeowner.

Scope of the Bill

The rights stipulate already the basics that any person would expect:  the right to humane and decent living and working conditions, humane treatment, and other social conditions.  In addition to SSS coverage, house helpers will also be covered by PhilHealth.

Minimum wage rates

In a bid to put a stop to employers paying unreasonably low wages, the bill has pegged a minimum wage rate for domestics working within NCR, chartered citities and municipalities (P3000, P2,000 and P1,000, respectively), subject to appropriate adjustments by the Regional Tripartite Wages and Productivity Boards.

Labor Standards

The bill also requires all domestic help to be covered by a writtern contract which shall stipulate the period of employment (not more than 2 years), monthly compensation and mode or payment, annual salary increase, work house and day-off schedule and living quarters. Kasambahays are also entitled to a minimum of at least 5 days paid vacation leaves.

On the part of prospective house helpers, they are required to submit the following requisites before employment, such as medical clearance, NBI and barangay clearances and NSO-authenticated birth certificate.

The bill also provides grounds and a procedure for the termination of services and grievance.

The Kasambahay Bill:  Easier Said?

If passed into law, the bill will be the best thing that will ever happen to our house helpers, except the part requiring them to submit documents prior to employment.

On the employer side, this will keep abusive employers at bay.  While some homeowners will probably think the minimum wage rates may somewhat be stiffling to the middle class, I personally think that the wage rate is reasonable considering the improving economics in the country.  I know some of you will argue with this.  Nevertheless, you can just read the favorable reviews we've been hearing in the news and you'll understand why.    
Realistically speaking, the bill seeks to empower the kasambahay - but only if they are aware of it.  More often than not, most kasambahays who come from impoverished homes bite the bullet and accept low wages anyway in the hope of sending money back to their families.  Some do not have access to information and are not aware of their rights.  Because of this ignorance, they are likely targets of abuse.

More than just putting the bill in place, there is a need to disseminate and inform kasambahays of their rights.  Otherwise, it will just be another law down the drain.  Now, whose benefit was it really for in the first place?
 

 

What House Helpers Want Their Bosses To Know

There are stories of evil nannies and maids, and there are horror stories of employers. 

We've probably read the latest news how one househelper was grossly maltreated and abused by her employers which eventually caused the maid's blindness.  For particulars, you can read the following link: Abused maid said couple "treated her like a dog".
 

You ask: How could somebody be so obtuse as to inflict so much suffering on another person, with a loyal and diligent househelper at that?  Bakit kasi hindi magtagpo ang salbaheng amo at salbaheng katulong!!!

But then we all know that life is not like that.  Sometimes, the evil proportion falls more on the employers who have the propensity to inflict cruelty on their staff. 

I would like to think that in our household, all house members are treated fairly and with kindness.  Why should we not, when they keep and guard the house for us?  In my experience with house helpers, I have had maids who come to us for help, sharing with us their sad experience with their bosses.  While I wish I was wealthy enough to keep all the good ones with us, let me share with you their personal sentiments that they wished their employers knew:

1. "Tao po kami"  -  No matter what condition or situation our house helpers may be in, it is not - NEVER - a reason toss them around or call them names.  I have met people who have countless of times made fun of their maids in front of other people.  Like you and me, they have feelings.  The worst I've heard so far from an employer is this remark: "Katulong ka lang".    
2. "Kailangan din po naming magpahinga"  -  Everybody needs to rest, and househelpers are no exception.  To stay-in maids, a whole day off is heaven to most as it allows them to recharge their batteries and connect with friends.  Why should they be any different from us?
3. "Susunod naman po ako sa utos, huwag po kayo manakit" -  If there are nannies who inflict pain on their wards, there are also employers who do the same to their employees.  We've often heard bosses who hit their maids, burn them and scald them in boiling water.  One maid lost both her eyes from severe beatings she received from her employers.   
4. "Nagtatrabaho naman kami kahit wala kayo"  -  This will raise eyebrows I'm sure.  Some househelpers do not really care about chores and only clean when their bosses are either inside the house or are nearby.  Let's face it: May kagulangan din.  But keeping this in mind also makes me realistic of my expectations with my own house helpers.  I explain to them that rest time is ok, but you have to do the list of chores for the day.  Keeping a to-do list helps put things in perspective, and when things aren't done I always give them a chance to explain their side.  It's a balancing act, but for helpers you want to keep for the long haul it will always be a tough juggle.  Valued employees should always be "inaalagaan".
5. "Sana wag nyo po kaming pagdamutan ng pagkain" -Keeping house is hard work, as every housewife will attest, and nutrition is just as important as letting them rest.  Give them ample time to recharge their batteries.  Give them space to do something else than just house work.  If they love reading, allow them.  If they want to watch tv but you do not want them to use your expensive LED tv, why not provide them their own tv?  Even a black and white unit will do. 
6. "Gusto rin po kitang makilala"  -  Never presume that your maid or nanny will know you right away.  Like any person, they need to connect with you.  So make the effort to bond with them by sharing stories, jokes you've heard, personal experiences  -  things that you can share and that they can easily relate to.  These small little things go a long, long way.    

It's hard to really trust anybody these days, but just keep in mind that house helpers (and especially the GOOD and TRUSTWORTHY ones) should be considered PART of your family, for the very reason that they are in YOUR household and taking care of YOUR needs.   

Human Trafficking - A Shocking Revelation by a Pinay Househelper (PART 2)

Kahit sa panghihina ko, may ilan beses din ako nagising.  Naramdaman kong may nakapatong sa 'kin na itom na lalaki (black man).  May ginagawang kahalayan sa 'kin, pero wala akong magawa.  Nawalan ako ulit ng malay. 

Di ko alam kung gaano katagal ako nakatulog.  Madilim na sa kwarto ng gumising ako.  Naramdaman ko ang pananakit ng buong katawan ko.  Wala na rin akong damit sa katawan.  Napaiyak na lang ako sa nangyari.  Sinubukan kong buksan ang kwarto ko pero sinara ito sa labas.  Sa pagkakataong iyon, natakot ako na baka kung ano pa ang mangyayari sa 'kin.  Dahan-dahan akong nag-suot ng damit na nagkagulo sa sahig.

Mga ilang oras pa, bumukas ang pinto ko.  Pumasok sa loob si Mr. Chen, kasama ang isang matandang babae na may bitbit na isang bowl na noodles.  Inalok ito sa 'kin. Ayaw ko sanang tanggapin pero gutom na rin ako.  Naki-usap ako sa amo ko, "Please Mr. Chen, I want to go home."

Tumaas ang kilay ni Mr. Chen.  "No, you not go home.  I pay good price for you, now you will work for me."

Naiyak ako sa kanyang sinabi.  "Please, please, take me home.  I will pay you back."

Umiling lang ito.  "No pay.  I will send you to another client.  Driver pick you up tomorrow," paliwanag niya.  Lalo bumuhos ang luha ko sa kanyang sinabi.  Umpisa pa lang yun ng aking paghihirap.  Dali-daling lumabas ng kwarto si Mr. Chen at ang katulong.

Tinignan ko ang mga gamit ko at nalamang wala doon ang pasaporte ko.  Lahat ng importanteng dokumento ko, wala.  Kinuha ni Mr. Chen ang mga ito.  Di ko rin magamit ang cellphone ko at wala nang laman ito.  Umasa pa rin ako na kahit papaano, makakatakas ako sa compound na 'yon.

*****

Nagising ako ng kinaumagahan sa kalampag sa bahay.  Bumukas ulit ang pinto ko at pumasok si Mr.Chen na may kasamang isang malaking lalaki.  Puti ang lalaki, di ko malaman kung saan galing sya at malalim ang Ingles niya.  Nag-usap sina Mr. Chen at ang lalaking iyon, di ko maintindihan kung anong transaksyon iyon.  May inabot na sobre ang lalaki kay Mr. Chen na agad naman niyang kinuha at binulsa. 

Lumapit ang lalaking puti at may nilabas na injection sa kanyang kamay. Wala akong magawa ng ipasok niya sa 'kin ang gamot sa 'kin.  Agad ko ulit naramdaman ang pagkakahilo. 

Malabo na sa kin ang mga sumunod na pangyayari.  Di ko alam kung paano ang naging byahe ko gayong hilong-hilo ako.  Basta ang alam ko, paggising ko nasa ibang lugar na ko.  Mas mainit sa Bangkok ang lugar na ito.  Mas simple ang bahay doon at parang tuyo sa labas.

Nang sumilip ako sa bintana ay puro mga itom ang nasa labas.  Lalo akong natakot.  Hindi ko na alam kung saan ako dinala.  May mga batang naglalaro sa labas ng bahay.  Sinitsitan ko ang isa at lumapit ito.  Pinilit kong itanong kung saan ako pero hindi nya maintidihan ang Inggles.  May nakakita sa 'ming matandang babae at lumapit.

"Where is this?" tanong ko.

Sagot niya sa malalim na Ingles, "you are in Moorreesburg, Western Cape."

"Where is Western Cape?" tanong ko ulit.

Nagulat ang matanda sa tanong ko. "Child, Western Cape is in South Africa."

Napaiyak ako sa sinagot niya sa 'kin.  Pakiramdam ko, sobrang layo ko na sa pamilya ko sa Pilipinas.  Ni hindi ko alam kung paano ako makakatakas dito, at kung saan dapat ako patutungo.

ITUTULOY

 

Human Trafficking - A Shocking Revelation by a Pinay Househelper

This is a real account by a Filipina who went abroad in the hopes of working as a househelper, oblivious to the fact of what was to happen to her.  While some find good opporturnities, there are others who do not end as fortunate - others who end up being abused, locked and/or maltreated. 

The narrator hails from the Visayas and was a graduate of a nursing aide degree when she took the offer to work abroad.  She was then 28, single, and was the eldest among 4 siblings.  Not surprisingly, she was the family's breadwinner and was the source of her family's pride.  The story is narrated in Pilipino and has been translated into English to give foreign readers a better appreciation of the accounts that happened to Serina, whose identity she has requested to conceal for this story.

Marami talaga sa lugar namin ang naghahanap ng trabaho abroad.  Sa amin kasi, kung maganda ka, dapat foreigner ang mapangasawa mo.  Kung hindi ka naman kagandahan, magtrabaho ka na lang sa ibang bansa.  Marami dito sa min ang gumanda ang buhay ng makapangasawa ng banyaga.  Kahit matanda ang napangasawa, ok lang, maganda naman ang bahay at minsan may negosyo pa.

Mas pinili ko magtrabaho na lang sa ibang bansa para gamitin ang kursong natapos ko (nursing aide).  Nagpursige ako na makatapos ng kahit vocational at ayaw kong iasa sa ibang tao ang ika-gaganda ng buhay namin.

May nirekomenda ang kapitbahay namin na agency sa Maynila.  "Pay Now, Fly Later" scheme sila at siguradong lipad agad.  Sa konting naipon ko sa pagta-trabaho sa health center, sumugal ako at lumuwas sa Maynila.  Tumira ako sa tiyahin ko na nandoon sa Maynila. 

Isang apartment ang address na binigay sa 'kin ng kaibigan ko.  Doon ko nakilala si Mrs. Quebrado, ang may-ari ng agency.  Hiningi nya ang resume ko at nabasang nakapag-tapos nga ako ng vocational. 

"Ok 'to.  Alam mo, plus points ito sa abroad," paliwanag nya.  Kailangan mailakad na natin ang pasaporte mo para makalipad ka na agad."

Sa tulong ni Mrs. Quebrado, nai-ayos ko ang NBI, medical clearance at pasaporte ko.  Halos dalawang buwan namin kinumpleto ang mga 'to.  Nang makumpleto, tinanong niya ko kung kailan ko gustong lumipad at naghihintay na ang employer ko sa Bangkok.  Isang pamilyang Intsik daw ang tutuluyan ko doon, at mababait daw yun.  Sabi ko na lang, kahit kailan pwede na.  Paano ang pamasahe?

"Hija, "fly now, pay later" dito.  Ang boss mo na ang magre-remit ng ginastos namin sa 'yo."  Inis-skedyul ang lipad ko sa isang linggo.  Masaya ako na sa wakas, matutupad na ang plano kong mag-abroad at makapag-ipon. 

Isang maliit na maleta ang dala ko sa paglipad.  Kung sa gastusin, wala daw akong po-problemahin at may sasalubong sa 'kin doon sa airport.  Halong nerbiyos at saya ang naisip ko sa loob ng eroplano.  Nagpasalamat ako sa Diyos ng mga sandaling iyon sa biyayang nakaalis agad ako ng Pilipinas.

Makalipas ng tatlong oras, lumapag na ang eroplano sa Bangkok.  Tulad ng sinabi ni Mrs. Quebrado, nandoon ang sundo ko, isang maliit na lalaki na hawak ang isang karatulang may pangalan ko.  Nilapitan ko sya.  Sa simpleng Ingles, tinanong ko siya kung saan ang boss namin. 

"Go to Mr. Chen," sagot ng lalaki sa 'kin. Sumakay kami sa kotse at tahimik naming tinahak ang Bangkok.  Malayo sa lungsod ang bahay na pinuntahan namin.  Mataas ang bakod at walang katabing bahay ito. 

Bitbit ng lalaking sumundo sa 'kin ang maleta ko.  "Stay here. Mr. Chen will come," paliwanag nya habang iniwan niya kong nakatayo sa salas.

Madalim at luma ang buong kabahayan ni Mr. Chen.  Mula sa isang sulok ng bahay lumabas ang isang matandang lalaki, na tinitigan ako mulang ulo hanggang paa.

"I am Mr. Chen.  You will work here for  a short while," sabi niya. "What experience do you have?"

"I am a health worker back home," sagot ko.

"What else you know?" tanong niya ulit.  

"I can take care of children, if you have children."

"That is not nature of your work.  But we'll see," sagot niya ulit sa kin.  Inikutan nya ako ng dahan-dahan, tinignan ang damit ko, maleta at kung ano pa.  "You have good skin."

"Pran will show you your room. Tea is served for you.  You must take rest.  We will talk tomorrow" utos niya ulit.  Lumapit ang lalaking sumundo sa kin na si Pran at agad kinuha ang dala kong maleta.  Wala akong nagawa kundi sundan si Pran papalabas ng bahay.


Isang compound ang bahay ni Mr. Chen at may dalawa or tatlo sigurong nakatayong bahay dun.  Dinala ako ni Pran sa isang kwarto katabi ng malaking bahay.  Walang pintura o kahit anong disenyo ang buong bahay.  Walang gamit sa loob ng kwarto ko kundi isang kama, upuan at lamesa.


Dito na binaba ni Pran ang maleta.  "Stay here. I will send for tea," sabi nito at umalis agad ng bahay.  Bumalik siya matapos siguro ng mga ilang sandali na may hawak na iced tea. 

"Here, you must drink this."  Kinuha ko sa kanya ang baso at inubos lahat ang laman nito.  Nagpasalamat ako at ngumiti kay Pran.  Di man lang siya nagpaunlak ng ngiti.

Inayos ko ang mga gamit sa maleta ko at naupo sa silya.  Di man maganda ang loob ng bahay, siguro naman ok boss ko.  Ok na rin ako.  Nilabas ko ang cell phone ko sa bag para magtext kina Nanay para sabihing nakarating na ko sa Bangkok.  Ilan na lang ang laman ng load ko sa cell phone, pero sabi ko, may kikitain na ko sa mga susunod na araw kaya ok lang na makipag-kwentuhan sa mga kapatid ko.

Mga ilang sandali pa, tumayo na ko.  Papalabas na ko ng silid ng simula kong maramdaman ang pagkakahina.  Si Mr. Chen ang huli kong nasulyapang papalapit sa 'kin nang tumumba na ko sa sahig...

TO BE CONTINUED. 
   


 

OMG! A Day Without Yaya

RRRRRiiiiinnnngggg!!! 

Five in the morning.  Off goes the alarm clock.  Have to get up, fix breakfast, iron out the uniform my 5 year old kid needs, and check his bag for the books he needs today.

Check the fridge, and take out the eggs and hotdogs.  Need to cook more rice.  I have 2 growing boys!  Put on the stove and let the cooking oil heat up a little.  Where is the frying pan?  Ok, ok, I remember where it is.  Have to set the coffee maker brewing already. 

LJ likes to have iced coffee this morning.  Whatttt?  No more cold milk in the fridge?  I scamper the cupboard to find nothing.  I'll have to use his milk powder instead.  No creamer till he's bigger.  I fry the eggs in the already hot pan.  The cooking oil sizzles and that keeps we awake.  While I'm at it, I ready the ironing board and flatten out one sleeve.  In a few seconds, out comes the egg, and I put the hotdogs. 

The uniform is done, so I set the table for three.  I already put sugar and creamer on two large mugs (for me and hubby), then look for the ketchup.  Oh no!  No KETCHUP!!!  How will we eat the hotdog without the ketchup?  Have to list that in my grocery list, if I can find a pen and paper to scribble it down.

By then it's almost near six.  Hubby starts to yawn and open his eyes.  He doesn't completely stand yet, so I check on my boy's shoes and shine those a bit.  The little puppy is tugging at my feet, signaling that  it wants to play outside.  I open the door to leave me in peace for a while.  And then I remembered.... no rice yet! 

So again, I wash the rice and lit the rice cooker.  I check what else I need to work on.  My boy wakes up and suddenly remembers that they have a project in school that they will need to bring today.  He needs Oslo paper - check.  Crayons?  Check.  Glue?  We have it!  But construction paper?  What is that?  We never used that kind of paper in my youth?  What do you need that for?

"Mom, this is a hard paper we use for paper folding," my son explains.  So I said ok.  But where on earth do I find this paper, at 6am?  When your dad wakes up, I said.

I rush my kid to the bathroom to give him a bath.  Hubby wakes up by then and tells me that he needs to wear his favorite blue shirt and black slacks.  I tell him he has other blue shirts that he can wear, but he explains, "Not today.  I have to wear this particular shirt."  So after giving my boy a bath, dressing him up, and combing his hair, I proceed to look for the crinkled blue shirt that hubby needs to wear today.  Good thing the maid folded everything in the basket just before she took her vacation.

As hubby takes his bath, son watches the tv and I set the meal on the table.  The coffee's brimming hot.  I give on last minute pointers to my kid for his quiz in the afternoon. 

After a few minutes, hubby emerges from the bathroom, realizes I am still in my house clothes and asks, "Why aren't you dressed yet?"

AAAAHHHHHHH!  I fixed breakfast, ironed clothes twice, fixed everything, and now you're asking me THAT?  The nerve!!!

I want my yaya back!

A Heroic Nanny Tells Her Story

I just found this wonderful interview of a nanny on Ellen.  It's a story about simple heroism.  Wish there are more nannies like her around.  See this bit: One Heroic Nanny.  Enjoy!

All Made Up Maids - The Big Deal

I've read articles before about bosses against maids wearing make-up to work. Most female bosses are touchy over this issue (especially if the househelper is pretty), while there are a few others who do not really care at all. This is my personal take about the subject.

Some bosses have a very clear stand about it, and that's fine. Kung ayaw, ayaw. Period! Especially where young children are involved, contact with make up may cause rashes or asthma attacks. There's a study a few years ago that some cosmetics (the cheap brands really) have lead content in their ingredients that may be harmful to the skin. If that passes to your kid, wouldn't you feel the same way too? And come on.... would you want your yaya wearing long fingernails and shimery nail polish while holding your kid? For paranoid mothers, this is utterly shocking. A NO-NO! With this line of thinking, you will understand why most employers strictly prohibit it.

Personally, I discourage my kid's yaya to wear long fingernails, not just because it's plain vanity and the nature of her work simply forbids it, but more so because of the potential harm that can result from it. Long nails could accidentally scratch my kid's baby skin and don't forget, the possible temptation that she could use it to "kurot" (pinch) my son for minor misdemeanors. And don't forget what we mothers would usually warn our kids about untrimmed fingernails: Papasok ang germs sa kuko - ewww YUCK!!! DIRTY!!! We would screech in horror. Same principle applies to long fingernails in adults. But as to make-up? I don't really mind unless I see an indication that it is adversely affecting my boy's health.

My son had a yaya before that looked like the character from the tv show "The Nanny" (played by Fran Drescher). She wore make up every time I left for work and would remove it as soon as she knew I was arriving. When I caught her by surprise one time (I left the office early) and asked her about it. This was our exchange:

"Bakit di ka mag-make up 'pag nandito kami sa bahay?" I asked.
"Nahihiya ako eh," answered the maid (let's call her Leni).
"Ano ka ba? Ok lang sa 'kin no!" I replied.
This was Leni's amusing reply. "Eh pangit naman yun na ayos ako at ikaw, napaka-simple. Magmumukhang ako ang amo!"

So simply and bluntly put by Leni! Short of saying, mukhang basahan ang amo ko!

Di ko malaman kung matutuwa ako or palalayasin ko! I could have fired her on the spot, but being the level-headed person that I am, I explained to her that it was a personal choice of mine not to wear any make up (save for a lip gloss) when I am home. Being out on most days at the office, I prefer to dress casually at home sans make up.

Dressing up like a slut is another matter however, which Leni did to occassionally. I gently reminded her to observe proper decorum in dressing, especially when she was with us. She obliged. This arrangement continued this way until I gave her up over a petty matter. She went back to the province wearing skimpy shorts and spaghetti straps. How funny can you get? No wonder my sweet mother-in-law was constantly warning me to watch over hubby like a hawk!

So, is wearing make up ok? It depends. Do not sacrifice personal freedom over potential hazards that could result from it. If you have valid reasons not to allow it (say, medical reasons), say it. To some bosses, the risks are even higher. In which case, you have to be clear about it and gently inform your househelpers about it.

Prepping the Your Househelper from No-Good Doers

We hear stories everyday of households who fall prey to felons, whether it's here in the Philippines or somewhere else.  Even children and wives fall victims to these kinds of people.  So it should be the habit of every employer to inform every household member to be wary of answering strangers.

Thank God, our household hasn't been victimized by any kind of burglary or theft.  I would like to think that part of that success is due to the fact that we have always taught all of our household members  - including my kid  -  to be careful of talking to strangers.  We always tell them that nefarious people would usually hit  when the master is out to work.  How many groups are there?  A LOT OF THEM, but let me just describe some of these more popular gangs.

1.)  Salisi Gang  -  a member poses as your boss (or any family member) and calls you at the phone, telling you that you've been involved in an accident and need money to pay for the hospital or something else.  He instructs you to bring a stash of money or anything valuable that you can bring to "monetize" it and tells you to meet at a place designated. 

WHAT TO DO:  We always tell our maids/yaya that if anything happens, we will call them using our own cell phones.  We tell them to stay put inside the home.  If anything happens, we will call a family member to call or fetch them.  

2.)  Budol-Budol Gang  -  a person pretends to have a wad of money and asks you to accompany him to some place or promises big bucks if you help him over some favor.  He will exchange his bagful of money for whatever you can give in return.  Sounds enticing, isn't it?  Almost always, people fall for this trap notwithstanding news reports that expose their activities.  Why?  It's the money that's in the bag.  If you can exchange your cell phone for a bag of money, you would probably fall for it.

WHAT TO DO:  Never fall for it!  We tell our maids never to be blinded by offers that are too good to be true.  If the offer's too good, then it's probably false.       

3.)  Akyat Bahay Gang  -  this is probably the worst nightmare of any household.  These groups usually strike when the master of the house is not home, or when the family goes on vacation.  This gang carefully studies the house where it will strike.  In some cases, they enter the house even when there are people inside.  Some groups just take what they need; in most cases, they hurt or even rape family members.

WHAT TO DO: Prevention.  Some ill doers fish out details of the family's activities.  They ask casual questions like what time the master leaves the house, what it normally does for a living, where do they usually go on weekends, and the like.  They study the occupants and the timing, then hit when the time is right.  Although we do not prohibit household members to socialize, we tell them to act smart. 

Finally, we explain to them the realities of these kinds of groups, not to scare them but to prepare them in the event that they face any of these groups.  It's important that you keep your household members trained and alert than to keep them clueless on what to do if disaster strikes. 
       

THE NANNY - ONE FAB NANNY

In my not too distant youth (am I hearing snickers here?), I loved watching the tv sitcom The Nanny starring Fran Drescher.  I remember my whole family and I glued to the seat everytime we watched it, musing over the nanny's teeny-tiny dresses and her hilarious tirades with her boss (Mr. Sheffield), the butler (Niles), and Mr. Sheffield's business partner (C. C. Babcock).  She is hardly the kind of househelp you'd find in real life and the kind of employee you'd actually want in your household.  But hey, this is tv, anything can happen!




The whole cast of the "The Nanny"

The lead character (Fran Fine)  in this show was one fab nanny, but not entirely ditzy as she would give doses of streetsmart advice to the 3 Sheffield children.  Actually, she made a lot of common sense to the children who were like their prim and proper English father.  Mr. Sheffield's business partner, C. C. Babcock, was always vying for her partner's affections, who in turn was secretly smitten with Ms. Fine.  If that wasn't enough, Niles and Fran would gang up on C.C. in a word war that often had  the latter on the losing end and everybody else in stitches. 

C. C. Babcock making advances to an oblivious Mr. Sheffield

And that big, BIG HAIR!  Fran's mother and grandma had it!  Fran had it, though not as flamboyant and her kinswomen.  All upswept and styled in a sort of beehive ("ensaymada" is what actually comes to mind), they are a funny lot as they give sound advice to Fran on matters of love, sex and what not.  Proudly of Jewish-Yiddish race, it gives you a glimpse how clannish they are, almost to a fault.


On a lighter note, Fran's colorful and figure-hugging dresses are something to drool about, even for an old soul like me who hardly wears anything above the knee. It's a sharp contrast to the Sheffield household who even at home wears slacks and loafers!  In a tropical climate country like the Philippines where shorts and sando are the norm, it's unthinkable to see Pinoys wearing this kind of get up at home.  This is casual wear!


I've had a househelper who reminded me of her.  Not as glam as the tv nanny, but just as flashy and flirty as well.  She wore form-fitting shorts and teeny-weeny blouses that screamed "I'm here world!" She also had a manicure and pedicure which never chipped even as she did the laundy at home. She also wore make up everytime hubby and I were off to work.  Surprising her one day with an early break from the office (I do surprise checks on all my househelpers), I caught her sweeping the lawn all made up.  Seeing me a little surpised of her appearance, she explained that it was her daily habit which was just fine by me.  Fast forward, I got a stern warning from my mother-in-law to be careful of the maid, who was out to snatch my husband.  In the end, we let her go - but for an entirely different reason altogether.  

Going back to the sitcom.... I'm sure The Nanny still has reruns in some places and I'll be glad to watch it anytime it's available on cable.  It'll be nostalgic to for me.  But do I want this kind of nanny for my kid?  Yes and no.  Yes, for her streetsmart sense and wit; no, because she could put a risk in any marital relationship.  Still, Fran Fine was worth watching and I'd still recommend it anytime.


Good day to all!

Nanny with the Sticky Fingers

As in any relationship, trust is a very important ingredient.  And more so with househelpers.  They who clean the household spic and span and know every nook and cranny of the house, they are capable of knowing where your stuffs are that we do.  And to me, trust is essential.

A colleague of mine once recounted her experience with a househelp who seemed adept to put things in order and knew where everything was kept.  This househelp was "bibo" enough to make it her business to know everything about the house, including where the valuables were stashed.  My colleague was glad to have had a housekeeper like her, until one day when the househelp wiped the house dry.  Even worse, she did it in broad daylight, when her children were at home!  Fortunately, the children were at their respective rooms when the heist was done.  The perpetrators (the househelp had 2 guys with him) carried the tv, stereo, cash, jewelry, and 2 service firearms.  Luckily, the children were left untouched.  The children only found out about the robbery when they already woke up from an afternoon siesta.  The door was left open and the maid gone.  The village guards said they did not notice anything different to rouse suspicion of a robbery.  It probably may have looked like this, the link of which I am attaching:

Caught in the act!

http://jotan23.blogspot.com/2010/04/maid-caught-in-act-of-stealing.html

I've had an experience with a yaya like this, and it's really heartbreaking to dismiss her when she was doing so well with my kid.  Not really very good, but more like good-GOOD.  It started with a few small items, a missing pair of earrings, small amount of cash here and there.  Things were starting to get serious when my son lost a big toy and a big box of perfume that my husband needed for testing.  That's when I started to get suspicious. 

And when I was cleaning her room one day (sadly, this yaya never cleaned her room so I would clean it with disinfectant on her day-offs), I found my pendant on her dresser.  I confronted her about it, but she explained that my son tinkered with my stuffs.  WHY ON EARTH WOULD MY SON PLAY WITH MY JEWELRY, of all things???  We let her go the next day.

What was disheartening to realize was that she had broken our trust.  I didn't know how much she took and I don't want to know it now.  It got me thinking:  was she really like that or was she just tempted to steal, knowing that we gave her so much confidence?   My husband and I would place our wallets in the living room when we're home.  Because of her, it's SOP for me now to stash everything in a safe, especially jewelry.

What did I learn from all of this?  To be careful all the time.  Your househelp may be performing well with household chores but is really hiding her real motive to steal.  Do not give any reason that will tempt her to steal, and that means locking away your valuables and keeping it there.  Provide limits to her authority.  I lock the master bedroom when we're away.  I do not let the housekeeper be familiar with my things.  I clean my own room.  If you can afford it, have hidden cameras inside the house to keep track of her daily activities.  It's invasive I know, but for working couples like me, sometimes the best defense is a good offense.

Tell you more next time.

Reaching Out to House Members

Let me tell you about a story of a maid of mine who worked for us for almost a year.


When we booted out a former househelp, we needed to get a new one right away just to keep watch over my son.  With the kindness of a neighbor, we met Geleen (not her real name) who was a niece of that neighbor. 


Now, we knew even before taking her that she needed special handling, not because she wasn't capable of looking after my boy but because she had a wild streak.  But as her aunt told us, she was young, naive and without proper guidance.  Geleen had to quit school after she got involved in a fraternity and her grades slipped.  Honestly, she didn't look too keen on studying anyway, possibly because of the gang she was involved in.  She was a troubled soul who sorely needed her mother, who left her with an aunt to live with a new man in her life.  Regardless of all these, we took her in, knowing she had warts and all.  I, as homemaker, constantly talked to her.  I shared to her things about myself, hoping that she would share hers.


She had none of that, and we accepted that fact after months of trying.  But we did our best to make her at home with the family, include her in family gatherings, trips.  My son seemed to be ok with her, and that was all that mattered.  She was a kid herself.  She was always silent, no reaction or emotion at all.


There were good times and bad times.  What I did not like about this girl was that she would go out of the house at night after we arrived home from the office to meet her gang.  I would end up looking for her at the village streets, drinking and talking with friends.  She was a minor and my employee, so I am naturally responsible for her.  It was frustrating, and I tried to explain to her why she had to cut down her meeting with friends.  In the end, I felt like she never heard anything I said at all.  And she never talked about what her problems were, why she was like that. 


In the end, we let her go after learning from my son's school that they saw my son being left to the company of two guys whom we did not know or were not familiar with.  In my panic, I immediately called Geleen, who was not answering her mobile or the telephone.  I later learned that Geleen went out of the house and left my kid to the company of strangers.  Thank God, they were kind enough to my son.  Nevermind the house, just my son.... Although they seem to be innocent, still the house policy of not letting in any strangers was violated.  My anger and disgust finally got the better of me, and I asked her to leave that very instant I arrived home.


Was I guilty that I was booting out a young girl from my house at night?  Not really, her aunt (which had long since transferred to another area) had plenty of friends in the village that she could stay with momentarily.  We learned a few days later that she slept at a friend's house rather than staying with her aunt's friend.


Just recently, we learned that Geleen worked in night club and met an older guy who made sense out of her.  We're quite happy that she's finally settled, because if she doesn't now, she'll end up just like her mother.  We hope the guy she's living with will be a patient man that will reach through her, something we were hoping to do.


Do we still do this to our house helpers?  Of course we do.  Just because Geleen required special handling doesn't mean that the others won't.  It's been always like this in the household.  Our maids are very open and comfortable with us without going overboard.  And I hope it stays that way.